Why is my kid so anxious?

Despite childhood being 'the most magical time of our lives,' being a kid can be hard. Kids with anxiety often hide their struggles from others, which makes life even more difficult. You might notice a child who once excelled becoming fearful, or a child who was once outgoing and engaged becoming withdrawn. You might even notice your relationship struggling. Teenage years add additional stressors: figuring out who we are as people and how to engage socially can be challenging. Add the additional growth edges of middle school and high school expectations, activities, and time management stressors, and that becomes quite a lot for a teen to learn to navigate.

What does anxiety in kids look like?

You might observe your child having strong reactions to situations that seem relatively unthreatening. They might be having big bursts of behavior that are getting in the way of school participation, family relationships, and social interactions. They might be hard on themselves and struggle with making mistakes. You might see your child disappointed by their grades, shutting down when they get feedback from you or another adult, or developing stomach aches at school drop-offs. You might wonder, “Is this my fault? Did I say or do something wrong?” Or you know or suspect something has gone wrong: your kid is recovering from a trauma or life change, and you notice your child is not quite themselves.

Children are natural problem solvers

We know that anxiety in kids often has a genetic component, and kids learn from their family systems. Therapy for children and teens is a team effort: parents need to participate just as much as the kids do. Kids are kids, and so are teens. They need a safe adult to be in this process with, someone who will help them remember everything they've learned in therapy.

Parenting can be both hard and joyful. You are probably already doing a great job as a parent (I suspect that is true if you are reaching out for help). I support caregivers in building stronger relationships that are safe, understanding, and loving so that families can face whatever challenge comes next after therapy is complete. We do this one step at a time, knowing that each small change builds into something monumental. If you are asking "but what if my kid or my family can’t change?" I want you to know: kids innately want to be happy and productive, with a deep sense of belonging to their families. The motivation to change is baked in.

My approach to therapy for kids (3-12 years)

To start therapy, we’ll conduct an intake meeting with just the adults. You’ll provide as much information as you can about your child’s development and experiences. We’ll identify other appropriate adults to collect information from, like medical providers, your child’s teachers, or other caregivers. I’ll meet with your child 1-1 (or with you there until they warm up) to get to know them and hear their thoughts on their experiences. Kids are smart and they want to be well, so I’m willing to bet your child already has some ideas on how things can change in their life. We’ll decide if we want to play in our sessions, make art, or sit around and chat. We can consider using EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) if appropriate. Children ages 3-10 years old will typically be provided with a combination of family sessions and parent consultation meetings. Kids 10 years old and up will typically have a combination of individual sessions, family therapy, and parent consultation meetings. Telehealth meetings can be used when 3-12 year olds and their families are feeling under the weather, but in-person sessions generally works best for this age group, providing privacy, a sense of a child’s ‘own’ space, and allowing me to consider their full experience in therapy.

My approach to therapy for teens (13-17 years)

Every teen is different, so therapy for this age group has a lot of variety. The goal is to tailor the experience to your teen’s specific developmental needs. We will have a 15 minute consultation to discuss hopes for treatment, and then we will decide if it is best for me to meet the client first, or the parents. We’ll discuss developmental history, social, emotional, and family function, and how the teen views themself. Teens are experts on their own lives and usually have specific hopes about what they want for themselves and their future. We’ll decide if sessions will include EMDR, executive function skill development, sensory and play engagement, or, if we want to sit and chat. Parent collaboration is important with teen work, so we can decide together what shape that will take. Our choice will reflect what works best for the teen and their privacy, and the health, communication, and safety of the teen in the context of the family. Telehealth is available for teens, if the format works for their attention and learning style.

Start kids’ and teens’ anxiety therapy in Pennsylvania & California today

Our goal is to build up what is already going well in your family, make necessary changes to ease pain points, and then witness your child flourish. Children do not need to be fearful of school, friends, family members, or themselves. They can move past challenging or traumatic experiences. When this happens, kids and parents get to discover the joy of being themselves with one another and in the world.

Start kids’ therapy in Pennsylvania and California.