Getting Started, The Easy Way
Starting anything new can be hard.
Waking up in the morning and getting out of bed, starting a homework assignment we’d prefer to not do, organizing a closet we haven’t looked at in a while. It can be rough. This is one method that may help you get started. The library has other methods that might be better fits for when this one doesn’t suit your needs.
To begin: Only commit to doing what is easy!
No matter what you decide to do, or not do, with the rest of your day/hour/minute, when things get hard, we only commit to doing what is easy.
How to do this:
1- Literally, do the smallest, easiest thing first. Break every ‘to do’ down into smaller steps.
Example: Is it hard to get out of bed? For now, don’t. Just take off a blanket. After that, if it feels easy, maybe turn on a podcast (nothing too engrossing or emotional to listen to, remember, this is easy stuff). Maybe let your foot dangle off the side of the bed. You will build momentum and each easy task will help you make a choice to do the next easy task (or not).
2- If you get stuck, make it even easier. Time for tinier steps. Nano steps. Do the smallest, tiniest, least effortful thing.
If you’re stuck, the step you are on is too hard for your nervous system right now. This isn’t anything to judge. Dealing with judgement is hard. So we’re not doing it. Now is a time to make things easier. We can support long term change at a different point, like in therapy. Not when you are stuck.
Example: Too hard to start writing an essay? Just sit down. And then maybe open your laptop. And then maybe log in…. maybe open a window in Google Docs. One tiny step at a time.
Example: Is it feeling overwhelming to clean out your desk? Don’t do the whole thing. First, sit down. Let yourself stay seated for a minute. And then maybe pick the trash up off of your desk surface. Don’t even get up to put them in the trash- just make a pile. Deal with that later. And then maybe make another pile of papers to file away. Don’t worry about filing them yet. After you’ve made the two piles, you might start to notice that the desk is already looking a lot clearer. That might give you energy to do a little more. Maybe now’s the time to walk the trash over to the trashcan. And we keep going.
3- When it feels like too much, pause (don’t call it a stop!). It might be time to use the bathroom, have a snack, or stretch before choosing the next easy part of the task. It might be time to take a break and grow your energy levels with a little novelty, urgency, or fun. When doing a thing feels like too much: stop, check in with your body and ask it what it needs.
We’re calling this a pause because sometimes we can’t stop the activity, we have to get out of bed to go to school, or go to the grocery store for potatoes. We might also know that we really want to do the thing that feels hard, we just are struggling to get going. We also might very well need to stop, but we can’t know what we need until we take a pause and ask ourselves what’s going on.
Example: You’ve now written one paragraph of your essay. You notice you are having a hard time staying focused on the work and your thoughts are drifting to the sounds of kids playing outside. You stand up, stretch, and look out the window. You might realize that you haven’t been outside in a long time and your body wants a quick walk. You might also realize that the noise is distracting and you want the window closed and classical music on.
Example: You are now laying on your bed without blankets, you’ve opened the blinds and there’s sun on your face, and you’re listening to a podcast. You don’t want to sit up. So you don’t. You pause, think about what you need, and check in with your body. Maybe you are thirsty and you don’t have the energy to sit up- you could reach for water at the bedside table and see how it feels to drink the water. You might notice that your back is a little uncomfortable so you might adjust your position in bed and see how that feels. The small adjustments build up to something bigger. If you notice that demand avoidance is kicking in, it’s time to remind yourself that you don’t have to go any further. You can have time to lay in bed, in the sun, getting used to the temperature of the room, until your body adjusts and you are ready for the next thing.
During a break, you will discover a need, have an opportunity to meet it, and then consider the option to continue making small moves.
Learn more:
How to take a good break, what to do when you have to do an icky thing fast, checking in with your body, demand avoidance.
